there is nothing left of you
by lonely4you
Summary: this is my 2nd story to write and 1st to publish ... after Kevin find away to close the gates to hell , the boys face a bigger problem...who would be the one that will sacrifice himself to do the job ? or which one of the brothers will be able to convince the other to not do it ? completed ... alittle destiel dont forget to R&R ...comments are loved
1. Chapter 1

Ummmmm…. Well… Hi …..this is my first fic ever to publish and guess 2nd to write …. But I'm still so new I hope that you 'd like it and that I 'd be able to express these two amazing character and their complicated "profound bond" and give it justice …enjoy

spoiler 8x14 this takes place after Kevin Decrypts the tablet of demons and tell the boys about what need to be done in order to close it …..

Dean was flying on the road in his baby as soon as Kevin called ….he nearly transported Sam's but to the car without even telling him what the hell was going on when he regained his ability to talk …..within the hour they were at Garth's safe boat .Not soon after they were silent for a while ….nearly close to an hour as they let what Kevin said sink in.

The tension was pliable in the room ….. They couldn't fool themselves or each other like they usually do ….. They can't ignore It and say "we'd cross that bridge when we get to it "….nope. Because they knew that it would come crashing at them even if they tried to alter their path or change it ….. It was so clear that they would have to sacrifice themselves one more , that they'd have to lose another precious and dear thing to one to their hearts again …. But that was becoming natural to the boys now …wasn't it? In fact they would be freaked out if they found that they would make it without any loss …. They'd feel like the devil is playing with them. Because that was not normal. Not in the boys 'book anyway.

The next few hours were nothing but a broken and tender yet manly and strong voice say "Damn it Dean….. Why won't you understand that I'm not going to let you do it …. That I have lost you enough .That I'm getting tired of you being the martyr..."  
and then you'd hear a gruff voice …a voice that what his owner saw has taken a toll on him say "When will you understand Sam…. I can't let you do it I can't watch you die in front of me …. I can't feel like I've failed you .That I've let you go …you are my younger brother Sammy and I'd die protecting you ."

Sam was about to protest when they heard the tell tale of wind that indicated the arrival of their friend and both of them stopped what they were arguing about to look at their little winged friend.  
Dean was the first to get to the business as he looked at cas …"what happy wind blowed you our way angel" . "There is no wind no matter how strong it was that can throw me anyway dean…. I don't understand your references" CAS looked at dean and titled his head a little to the left.  
Dean was not in the mood to the angel's little knowledge and quickly was asking about why CAS was there. "I have noticed that Kevin was able to translate the tablet, so I came to see what is there to be done and to help " "aw look who came to save the day … hate to break it to you princess… but looks like they are looking for a specific knight " dean scoffed as he turned away and turning his back to a very confused angel …."I'M sorry cas . you dean is always a jerk when he is working a tough case…. I really appreciate it … but there is nothing you can do … not this time " sam said soothingly trying to make cas understand …..

Cas looked at both of them and then at the room, the silence in the room was deafening when suddenly suddenly "where is the translation " . Both dean and sam looked at cas like he have grown a second head and then they remembered what he was talking about."It's right behind dean's back. But why do y…" sam was cut off mid sentence as cas got to Dean's side and took the copybook where Kevin neat hand writing have filled the papers with the translation to God's word . He examined it too carefully that he took extra time admiring Kevin's neat writing and the way he curved the letters in some kind of art … Dean was getting impatient as he walked around the room .Sam was impatient as well but he was polite enough to not disturb cas and waited for the dude to look at them ….. All the while they were looking at him intently … all of a sudden cas's eyes lit up and there was a triumphant smirk on his face … one that copied Dean's when he does something right … At that moment Dean was stoned for a second …. Weather it was from how warm the scene was or that he was really proud of himself that he had rubbed off on their angel …. He'd never know or tell.

Before they could ask him what did he find.. cas was moving towards them pointing at one line … sam and dean follow his finger and read carefully and silently as the words sink in …..cas was the one to break the silence " see dean looks like I could help " cas was smirking … a real smirk and that one knocked dean , hell even sam off ….."now great ..i'd have to deal with h two douchbags " dean was practically grumping ..  
They talked after that for a while and they all were getting ready …cas went to see if he could accomplish his mission while the others waited for him at the safe boat …. Later that night they were all celebrating the safe boat as their plane was moving perfectly and all what they needed was there …. Everyone went to bed after some time .all except for dean …"I'd follow you guys …just need to kick that creepy stalker angel and will be up and in bed before you even sleep "and with that Dean closed any possible talk. Cas was standing and about to mojo himself someplace when Dean caught his wrist …cas looked at him for a moment before he asked "Dean?" Dean shock his head lightly to break his gaze that he didn't know was fixed on cas till now …"uhmmmm….. I was hoping to tell you…..ummm …don't forget to drop in tomorrow at the time ok we don't need to be late do we?" there was a mysterious look on cas's face a look that if dean was right full of sadness and distance but strong determination that he had never seen in the angel's eyes before..(not that he was starin g at them or something ) …. "Yeah Dean . Don't worry I'd never be late for you ….not if I can help it …..I'll be here tomorrow at time "and with that he just flapped away ….

Dean was standing in the same spot for he doesn't know how much but when he moved to his room ,there was a uneasy feeling in is heart ….but he shake it off as he thought that this had to do with what he needed to tell cas about .He said that he 'd tell him about it once all of this mess is over and with that he slumped on his bed and slept .on the other half of the world cas was just sitting on a rock near the shore and the waves kept hitting it ..it was boring but for him that was all what he want to do on his "last night on earth" well that was the second thing he want to cause honestly he would d have ditched that if his first wish came true …. He wanted nothing but to be with dean …. But who was he kidding he was with the Winchesters and they "don't seem like good luck "… he was after all their guardians so he could never get what he wished for ….but may be just maybe tomorrow won't be bad maybe they 'd make it out of there with no loss ….well that's not too far from this moment he'd have to wait and see….


	2. Chapter 2

sorry for the delay ... i was really busy ...so without further delay here is the 2nd chapter. Enjoy

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It was the feared hour ….Cas made it to their house on time as they were packing all what they'd need. Garth and Kevin were in a car while Sam, Dean and Cas rode the impala. They were both silent but it's not the peaceful silent that they usually have, it's the silence that precede the storm, the calmness of the volcano before it erupts. They all have a million words that could fill the silence …. But they choose to ignore that because saying it would be confirming that they are not making it out of this mission .IT was a long silent ride but they finally made it to their destination ... The gates of hell….  
Dean stopped the car and got out to prepare what they need while Cas and Sam followed him .Everything was set and they were ready and so were Kevin and Garth. They ran over the plan one last time to check that everyone knew his role, while they were doing so it was so clear that were a million thoughts going through each one's mind .The weather was getting colder but they couldn't tell if it really was cold or was that because of their fear and their blood running cold .By the time they made sure everything was good it started snowing and it was snowing like the end of the world… well ironically it is going to be so for one of them soon….

"We are going to ice the king of hell "Dean said with a tone of fake humor trying to ease the tension and fear gripping his heart tighter by each passing second  
"Dude you are not funny " Sam said with a hint of a smile , but he doesn't know if he was smiling at the sarcasm of his brother or at the fact that he understand that dean is trying to lighten the tension , while he got an eye roll from Kevin and Garth and Cas was like "Dean .. you do know that you cannot possibly ice Crowley and that you would need more than just a snow storm to do so" and that caused an eruption of laughter among this group of people that are soon going to face one of the greatest challenges ever, but for the time being they don't mind having a laugh or to tighter while they can.

When they got it together and summoned their courage they took their places and Dean gave Kevin the sign to start and so he started mixing the spell and preparing it all the while Dean was looking between Sam and Cas , looking at them for as long as he could , trying his best to have enough to keep in his memory when he is In his second but final trip to hell . Absorbing as much as he could from their light cause they might have gone bad at some point, but for him these two people along with Booby have always meant the world to him. They were his only family , so yes they might have freed Lucifer and stated a Civil war in heaven and brought Leviathans to Earth but still they are the purest persons he has ever seen and they were the only people who trusted him and had faith in him even when he himself doubted his abilities . While Dean was looking at Cas Sam turned to tell Dean something, but when he just saw the way his brother was Staring at Cas he just stood there with a small smile on his face . "This idiot he finally realized "Sam thought to himself while looking at them.  
Sam stood there staring at them for a while and his smile grew when Cas looked his way and cas smiled back , then Cas looked at Dean and for a while Sam could have sworn that there were hearts and flying pigs were surrounding them . H e looked at them one final time before he took a deep breath ," **_I'm sorry Dean but I'm not going to let ou kill yourself when you have finally realized that there is someone_** **_you can happily live and grow old with_** " sam thought .Dean finally broke has eye contact with Cas to Look over at Sam to make sure he is fine , Sam shoot a small smile his way and Dean returned the smile and then he looked at Garth and Kevin to check over them and make sure they are Ok as well.

Kevin looked at them and nodded his head , everybody took a deep breath and Kevin chanted the spell and they saw blinding red light coming from everywhere around the gates' doors , it was so bright that they all had to cover their eyes . They heard loud noises like thunder and screams, It was scary especially that they can't open their eyes and see what's happening. Dean on the other hand felt a cold shiver run through him as he remembered those screams and it brought back scary and terrifying images and memories that he has buried long time ago . Dean and Sam tried their best to open their eyes to do the final step and proceed with the sacrifice but they both failed .It was getting brighter and the screams and noises were getting louder and if it wasn't for the snow they would have been burned from all the fiery heat coming from the gates .It was so hot that it was making all the snow that accumulated there melt . As much as it was frustrating for the brothers but they were secretly both happy because they know that none of them have killed himself yet.

On the other hand Cas was not affected by that noises or the bright light or even the heat, after all he is an angel and after all he have been on a trip to hell before. He looked at the brothers, Kevin and Garth who have nearly fainted to make sure they are ok .He walked closer to the gates and said the words that should be said to complete the process and do the sacrifice to close the gates for ever. As he was saying  
the sentence the noises have gotten so loud that he can't even hear himself and it kept on getting louder with every word he say s till suddenly it all went quiet and the bright red light became a little bit fainter which allow you to open your eyes a little bit easier .

When they were finally able to open their eyes, they did because they were surprised that the screaming and screeching sounds has stopped. They all looked at each other to make sure they are ok, they looked at Garth and Dean was about to look the other way to check on Cas but they saw tears on his eyes and they frantically followed his eyes and were shocked to see Cas standing in front of the gates with his wings opened widely behind his back , they could see that its being covered in blood .Dean was struck for a brief second before he put the pieces together , the moment he realized what Cas did was the moment he ran to him as fast as he could just in time to be catched by Sam . Sam was holding Dean back while he was looking at Cas then at Kevin and Garth as if pleading them silently to tell them that what he is seeing is just a hallucination or any trick being pulled on them by Crowley , but they both look as helpless and torn as he is .

Cas looks back at them with a bright smile on his face, he looks at Kevin, Garth, Sam and Dean and kept staring at Dean for a long time. His eyes are saying lot of words and Dean fight with all his power to free himself from Sam's grip and Sam just let him go after a while. Dean runs to Cas's side and hold his shoulders in time before he hits the ground and lay him down gently on the ground and just stare at him so unbelievingly "Why?" He says in a broken low whisper that he doubt that he even said anything out loud … but Cas heard him, he didn't need Dean to say his thoughts ut loud to know what he is thinking."Because you are m charge, friend and much more and I would do anything not to have you go through this remember "He said with a faint smile as he was getting weaker Dean looked at him with tears in his eyes " You stupid son of a bitch …. You were not supposed to do that "  
"Dean ,of course I should you and Sam are my family and you have teached me that we do anything for family . This doesn't only apply on you Dean "

"But now I got to lose you , I have to live knowing that I have failed someone else that I care about … that I stood there helpless as I watched someone I care for die "  
"Dean… hey , everything is not your fault or responsibility , and you cannot save everyone although you try … but sometimes it just has to be.. listen I want you to promise.." "NO, DON'T YOU DARE, don't you dare ask anything from me …we are gonna find a way to stop this … Kevin ...Kevin .. Try to reverse the spell or something .Do anything to stop this" dean said while looking at the said prophet pleading him to stop it  
"Dean .. you are always going to be stubborn aren't you " Cas smiled at him fondly " look I just want you to promise that you will always believe that you are not worthless and that you have never let me down ..And…and … that I'll always be watching over you and Sam and that I'll forever be there to hear your prayers ." cas said while struggling to get the words out loud enough to be heard .  
"Sam ..you take care of your brother and you two stick together and stop fighting and stew your crap..OK" Cas looked at sam who had moved closer when he was called and Sam just smiled at the angel as he can't form words from all the tears that's falling "I will cas .. I will"  
"Kevin ... Well done ...You are now free you can go on and live a normal life your mission is completed … you did it … you can return back to your normal life and be in an advanced placement and be the first asian in the white house ." Kevin just nodded as tears fell silently on his checks "Garth you are a great Bobby .. you take care of this idjits " " Thanks cas and I will " Garth smiled as he wiped his tears .

Cas felt all his grace is being drained out of him and towards the gate so he looked at Dean one last time " Thanks dean for everything " and then his vessel start to disappear and the remaining of his grace left it and was gone in the gates . As the last bit of grace was in the gate the doors start to close again with the same screaming and screeching noise but this time there was no red light or fiery heat coming from the doors, it was the other way around. There were red lights and immense amount of heat coming from every direction and in the gates. The sounds start to be muted and the light and heated faded as the gates of hell were closed forever.

Dean just kept kneeling on the ground where he was holding Cas with his face in his hands. He just can't look at them with all this tears in his eyes and he just can't control his body he is crying his eyes out. Crying like he had never cried for a long time before. But again he had never lost someone that held the place that Cas has hold in his heart. Sam just neared his brother and put a comforting hand on his shoulder and Dean looked up and it broke Sam's heart to see his brother so broken.  
Sam was about to say something but he decided not to . Dean just stared back at the place where cas was not long ago " Cas " Dean just called brokenly that it tear Sam, Kevin and Garths' hearts. Garth was about to say that he is gone but Sam just waved his head to tell him not to .As they looked back they were surprised as they saw a cloud of pure whit snowflakes surrounding Dean and just circling him .They realized that this is Cas , Dean realized it too but he saw what they didn't . He can see Ca's figure and can even see his wings, they are so white and shiny and beautiful like nothing he had ever seen. He stretched his hand to touch but then retreated it fearing that cas would disappear .He looked up at Cas's eyes and GOD they were bluer now and they held a bright sparkle in …. Cas nodded at Dean and he was staring at Cas confused for a while before understanding. He stretched his hands once more and inched closer to his wings so gently and hesitantly .The moment his fingertips touched his wings his breath hitched , it is the softest thing he has ever touched his whole life …"so I guess angels do have fluffy wings after all " Dean said with a small smile on his face that was matched by cas's smile .

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so what do you think ? reviews and comments are much appreciated .Thanks


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